Choosing Your A.A. Sponsor Wisely

Choose Your AA Sponsor

A Sponsor Is An Important Part of Recovery

1. A good sponsor is a sober member of my own gender.

Sponsorship is not about relating to another individual. It is about getting better someone else’s way. It does not matter if I relate more to members of the opposite sex. I must take the sexual component completely out of this relationship. Therefore a gay man might be best sponsored by a woman etc.

2. A good sponsor has worked the 12 Steps.

A sponsor’s primary job is to coach me thru actually working all 12 Steps. Every good coach I have ever heard of was at some time on the field playing the game. Therefore, a good sponsor has actually worked the Steps from the book Alcoholics Anonymous.

3. A good sponsor has a sponsor himself.

Hopefully this means he is surrendered and someone else is running his program. Definitely it means we have a plan when I bring him a question he can’t answer. This also indicates he is a follower, which is an important spiritual principle. This is evidence he is not in charge anymore.

4. A good sponsor will tell me the truth I don’t want to hear.

He can’t be interested in what I think of him. He must be willing to risk the relationship by giving me the unvarnished truth. He must be willing to say things to me like: “You are not doing the following….and I don’t think this is going to work.” Or, “I am afraid for you because…”

5. A good sponsor is active in service work.

All of the winners I know are active carrying the message. They all go out of their way for the fellowship. For example they show up early at their home group and make coffee and make the newcomers welcome; answer phones at central office; take meetings into jails, prisons, insane asylums, hospital rooms, treatment centers etc.

6. A good sponsor laughs a lot, enjoys life and is not a complainer.

A complainer is still in charge. Spiritually awakened people just seem to laugh a lot. It does not mean that they don’t cry and have hard times. They do. It means that they are generally happy people. If you have the opportunity to visit his home take it. How do his spouse & kids treat him and act around him?

More information on sponsorship can be found here – A.A. Questions and Answers on Sponsorship

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